we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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