you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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