me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
How's work?
Spinning.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
