I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
