he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
