So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
