I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize