The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
