I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
