I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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