There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
