i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
