I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
