There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
