Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
