Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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