kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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