Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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