he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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