ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
