I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
