Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
