Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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