I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
