i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
