morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
