dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
