the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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