I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
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