I think my fart just growled at me.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Houston, we have a blender
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
