neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
