My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize