Michael Bay diarrhea
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize