Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize