Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
