grandma shit on top of the toilet
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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