I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you win again, gameday.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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