There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
