Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just found puke in my bra..
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
