Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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