What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
well you can't waste a boner
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
