oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
