i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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