Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
ttyl tear gas
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
