We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
