Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I want her autograph on my taint
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
