dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
