I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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