the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
A bitchslap is in order.
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