Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
