The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
