I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
