I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
