I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
