woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
