I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
